I started teaching this week. I work at the same school 10 years. By nature shy, I usually feel comforted at the thought of seeing students I have worked the year before. But if you read a little bit this blog, you know that last year, I was everywhere but at my table. I was walking on a camel in India or aboard trains and ferries Croatian Romanian. Meanwhile, students who are now old were learning about and creating links with my colleagues. I do not regret my trip one bit, rest assured. I still find it hard to go back to school and feel outside the group, just like when I'm moved from primary to secondary. It also happened to me yesterday, an experience worthy of a film by John Hughes (Breakfast Club, Pretty in Pink, etc.). I head to the cafeteria and get me a cup of coffee (our school has moved and we have a choice between not one, not two but five flavors of Colombian!) And see some students of 2nd year that I recognize my course of Monday morning. They smile at me. I said to this point I wrong to be neurotic, I will create links with these elders, as I have created hundreds of others before them. I'm about to go see them for a chat when I hear one of them shouting "Laurie, come see us! Laurie! Laurie!" They smiled at me not at all to me. They were happy to see Laurie, my successor, who was coming behind me ... I went and nobody wanted to talk to me. I went to buy my coffee (a good Sumatra) and drank alone, reading my Courrier International, who spoke of the exclusion of Roma in Europe. I consoled myself by saying that in matters of exclusion, there are far worse than me. I went back to my office and I told my experience to colleagues who understood me. I must not be the only one who felt this way, early year, I guess.
At the end of the day, my ego had gotten better, but I still wonder. After 10 years of teaching, why still feel like in high school back to school? Observe others who laugh and seem to know each other since forever, not knowing where to stand, who say hello when laugh, when to speak, when to shut up ... I know I'm not the only one who felt this way in my school. I see young shaved the walls and be excited that the course begins, because they will finally have an official occupation and they will not be forced to "make contacts". I think my discomfort helps me understand what they live. That's one advantage to all this.
I know that this week is the worst. Next week, the season will be a thing of the past.
In the meantime, I do what I always did to console me: I write, I read, I talk to sensitive souls, and I drink good coffee Sumatra. One day maybe I will come out of high school. I do not know. If I do, I'll talk. And I'll buy a prom dress. To celebrate.
0 comments:
Post a Comment